We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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