why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
