My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
