I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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