Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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