Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
there is glitter all over my balls
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