9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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