Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I party with great urgency now.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
