No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
