Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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