Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
