She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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