I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Randomize
