May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
