a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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