so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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