So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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