theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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