im drinking this country out of the recession.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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