I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
