Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I believe in your delicious
I was not drunk enough for that final.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
