so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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