the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
