Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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