i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
