I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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