Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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