oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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