I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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