at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
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you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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