The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
