so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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