I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
