Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have demons in me.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
