I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i would punch a child for taco bell
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
