So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize