yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
