You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
