I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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