And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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