Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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