Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
