Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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