Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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