yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
