don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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