I'd wear matching sweaters with you
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
