Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
