And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i barfeds in our rink
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
