Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
