He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
NoShamevember. You game?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
