No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
