im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
