PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
