Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
