butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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