"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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