my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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